La Vie DeHart: THIRTY

THIRTY.

It's funny. 30. Thirty, Treinta, Trente. There's so much weight to this age, this number. Even if you're well beyond 30, surely you remember what it was like to cross into another decade. I've watched so many peers hop into their 30's and something weird happens, it's like age is staring them in the face. They start to shed parts of who they were in their 20s, it's like they are trying to realize who they want to be as 'real adults'. In their twenties they hesitate to start families in their youth, but then realize their youth is slipping away, so they start having babies, or trying to find real jobs because ya know, 30! That's not really that 'young' anymore! I don't know, maybe I'm the only one who sees this. Some people dread their thirties, but I've always kinda looked forward to them.

As much as Scott and I tried to live up our 20's and make memories, it was one crazy rat race. You're working so hard, spending so much money to try to get to a place where you can be semi-stable, you're starting a family, barely sleeping, making sacrifices to make the future brighter. I've always seen my 30s as a time to hopefully reap some reward. I know it doesn't always work out like that, but you do hope that life starts to level out and have some consistency. In some ways, we are starting our 30s like I expected. 2 young kids, done with school, finally in a city we want to stay in, but in some ways, it's not. This past year was insane, to say the least. amidst all the craziness, We pushed so so hard to buy a house, even to the point where we were giving up all our wish list items just to own SOMETHING. After being shut out time and time again, we realized God was telling us that this wasn't the right time. We really had to come to terms with the fact that we wouldn't be owning a home anytime soon. Which I know we put this unrealistic expectation on ourselves. Because, we are 30, we should own a home, right?! Most of our friends forwent city/state/and job hopping and bought houses out of college. After all, someone told us that you don't really reach manhood until you buy a house, of course, we put ZERO stock in that idea. Plus, you can't drop everything and move to NYC on a dime, if you own a home.
So, anyway, I'm finding myself trying hard to shove off expectation and be here and now. I know the word 'present' is such an 'it' word, but I'm really trying to be present and not continually looking ahead and wishing we were 1,2,3 years in the future. Because, life doesn't happen in the future, it happens in the seemingly mundane, the Mondays, the Tuesdays, the sleepless nights, the tv packed days, days at the pool, I don't want to miss the beauty of 30 that is having a fresh new baby and a toddler. It's crazy and hard, and wonderful, and oh so snuggly. The nights are late, the mornings are early, the days are long, but the years are veerrrryyy short. Here's to thanking God for bringing us to 30, with all the blessings and difficulties that that has entailed. I honestly wouldn't change anything about the last 30 years. everything that I've been through, has brought me here, to who I am, to the beautiful blessings and lessons God has given me. He is so so good, I can't wait to see what the next decade holds.